It's realy frustrating! I have a lab with the laser, database, and research machine but my scientist just ignore it! Has anyone been able to research anything yet?!

Well first the technician/Scientist/etc has to find something to research so they will wander around the base, wander outside of the base to let agents follow them in and all sorts of eviler dooery. Then they go to the database and then the research icon should flash if I recall correctly. Then the fun begins.

Yeah, I've gotten the bookcase, laser (chose the impacter as my Apparatus) and the heavy security door (which shut down my entire base until I was able to buy more power generators, thank goodness for capacitors, though).

My only problem is the sheer pace of research: it's amazingly slow, since my science minions seem to do everything EXCEPT research. I want to see what happens with two apparatus (appartai? don't know the plural) and I really want better power generators.

It could be that you didn't put something researchable in your base, you don't have all the research devices, some loots items can be researched so you don't have all those. And some you just won't be able to get till later..sadly I don't think you can get better a power source till later in the game.

Thanks for the help guys but could yall give me an example of something that the scientists need to research. I hate how the only information that the game gives you on a persons job is "working for you". Like yeah thats helpful. I wonder if maybe I jsut have to many job openings that they would rather do. All I ever see them do is fix things, run teh computers, read books and play table tennis.

Also is there anyway to tell what your henchmens special abilities actually do. Besides experimenting wiht them of course. Like the hypnotist guy's "smooth operator" ability.

Okay I got research to work now! BTW I think I saw one of my scientists try to research a bomb. Or maybe he was disarming it? I don't know. He saw it and pulled out a notepad and had an exclamation point above his head. Then the bomb went off!

I believe you can hover your pointer over the ability in question, or use Gamefaqs.
And yes that's exactly how research works. Your scientists will wander about, see an object and then take out a notepad, then wanders back to the research lab to see if there's any new toys that can be researched from it. It's a tedious process sometimes but that part of it is completely out of your control.